Adoption class!

This weekend Bobby and I spent all of our Saturday in an adoption class hosted by our adoption agency. The class is required training that must be completed before you can receive your child. There were 8 couples and one person whose spouse was unable to attend, 19 people total. The class was long, but good. It caused a lot of wheels in my brain to start spinning, so I’m going to sort of try to express everything in one long, jumbled up post.

First of all, it was wonderful to meet so many other people going through the process. They even had a family come in that had recently adopted two boys from Korea and talk to us. They were a light at the end of a long tunnel. We met some really great people who were at various stages in the process, some of whom already had their referral! We got to see some cute pictures of babies and hopefully make some connections for the future.

The process seems to move fast up until the referral currently, at least for those open to either gender. We have been told over and over again that our referral will take longer, since we are waiting on girl. Our agency said they are seeing one girl for every three or four boys. I know she’ll be worth the wait. Realistically I know it could be December or longer before we see a referral, but for some reason I’ve got a good feeling about it being sooner.

I need to select a book on attachment and read it. I already had a good idea that certain things needed to be done differently with “Goomba” than had been done with Landon or Oliver. When we first bring her home it will be important for her to stay with us, and for the first two weeks or so to not let others hold her to help her bond with us. We need to do all of the actual “parenting” for the first four to six weeks. This will be hard, as we’re very much into the whole “it takes a village” concept, and our boys often ask for food or other items from anyone at Laura’s house, and everyone co-parents. We’ll need to not go anywhere overnight for the first two months. Given that we try to go somewhere overnight once a month, totally doable. We’ll also not want anyone to stay overnight the first month, which is fine as we rarely have company actually stay with us, and Landon can wait on his friend spending the night for one month.

We talked about sleeping. I don’t intend to buy a crib for her. Most likely she’ll go straight to a toddler bed, but we’ll see what happens once she’s home.

We got a better concept of what it will be like to go to Korea. I really, really hope we get to go. The plan is to go, but timing will be everything. We’d most likely only be in Korea for 4-5 days. About two days as a tourist, just Bobby and I, and then we’d get to go meet up with our daughter and her foster mom (or family) for about an hour. In most cases, we’d get to ask questions and play with our daughter, and then foster mom would take her home for one last night. Occasionally the child gets to stay overnight with the new family, but that is apparently unusual. I would totally take her overnight at the hotel, if the option is there, but, in the end, I’m going to defer to what foster mom wants. In the event she doesn’t spend the night with us, the next day they would basically hand us our daughter, and we’d head to the airport. It’s a thirteen hour flight, with a little girl who barely knows us, our daughter. That said, I’d rather she take the flight with us than with a stranger, which is the backup option. I’m really praying we can bring her home before she turns two, so that we can avoid attempting to buy her a one way ticket, and because, I’d like her to come home as early as possible. (of course!) That doesn’t mean I’m not still planning on a three year old in three years. That’s what I just have to keep telling myself.

There was also a panel of adult adoptees from Korea, which provided some interesting insight on how to go about raising our daughter and respecting her birth culture. It was great to hear their perspectives!

The class was good, but a long way to spend a Saturday. I’m thankful our agency provided it and that we could attend!

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