bad dream

I had a nightmare last night that we were back in ICU. I dreamed that I was holding Oliver and I couldn’t put him down because if I moved him his blood pressure and O2 would drop dangerously low, so we were both lying in the crib in ICU.

When we were in ICU, everything had a dreamlike quality to it, a feeling of “this can’t be real, this can’t be happening.” This feeling was of course, there in the dream, which ironically made the dream seem more real.

I am just glad we are home. I wish we could relax a little more, but we are constantly worrying about Oliver. “Is he warm to you?” “Is he breathing?” “Does this seem normal?”

Honestly, he seems like the perfect little four week old baby.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Christa
    Dec 16, 2009 @ 21:08:58

    I haven’t kept up like I should, but know that I’ve been thinking of you all. I’m sorry that you and Ollie have had such a rough time.


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